Do your fears need upgrading?
Fear fascinates me, it’s one of the things I have had the most insights about since I began my own journey of self-discovery over a decade ago.
Just when I think I understand fear, I find more depth to the subject, depth that brings me a new understanding, an understanding that not only helps me as a student of life, but also the men and women I work with in my coaching practice.
I speak a lot about how we must create a positive and loving relationship with our fears to actually thrive in our lives, I also speak a lot about how courage is all it really takes to move forward even when we are limiting ourselves through self-doubt.
The thing is we are NOT taught either of these vital pieces of information whilst growing up, we are taught the opposite -
“Fear is negative, “fear will control your life”, “stay away from discomfort and be comfortable”, “don’t take risks and be careful” etc…
Once we have those ideas around fear, we are easier to control as a collective and we avoid moving in the direction of our true potential as individuals, courageous individuals that make amazing things happen.
A courageous and loving individual can not be controlled.
If you want to step up, go against the grain of what we have been taught by society and make amazing things happen in your life then I have some upgrades for your fears to help you do just that.
Upgrade Number One:
“Fear is an incredible navigation tool that moves us toward our greatest potential for growth.”
Fear shows us exactly where to go if we want to grow as a human being, this navigation tool is never wrong, it knows when to step back in the face of real life threatening danger and it knows when to move us forward toward what we really want the most.
It is up to us to learn to recognise the difference between real danger and when we are simply experiencing the energetic feeling of the fear mechanism in situations when there is clearly no real danger at hand, most of the time the feeling of fear is pointing toward where we can grow most at that time, and what action possibly matters the most, the sooner we realise this, the better.
If we upgrade our fear as not a hindrance or something that holds us back, but instead a tool for self-growth and self-discovery, than we begin to feel very differently about our fears, it becomes an excititing feeling to move forward with.
Upgrade Number Two:
“Following your fears will ultimately lead to following your bliss.”
There is bliss in discomfort, we all know it, why do we jump out of planes, bungee jump, climb mountains, go for long runs and push ourselves through grueling workouts… Why do people do these things?
Bliss, we are seeking bliss, the feeling that comes after each time we face our fears or do something even slightly outside of our comfort zones.
But we are taught to seek comfort, the world we live in right now (in the western world at least) is very comfortable, we have everything within arms reach, many of us don’t even need to leave the house, ever, we can have food delivered straight to our door!
Comfort has it’s place, but too much comfort does not lead to a blissful life, we need a little sprinkle of discomfort now and again. Do we need to fill our days with it? No, but we do need to have doses of it spread throughout our week.
Upgrade Number Three:
“Who would you be WITH your fear?”
It’s time to face reality, fear isn’t going anywhere, right now your experience of fear might not be the nicest of feelings, it may feel like a momentous challenge to face any one of your fears because of the relationship you have created with it, but it won’t stay that way, not if you are committed to upgrading it that is.
Fear isn’t going anywhere, but the way it feels and the way you feel about fear, that can change, that can change right now.
A very popular question in the personal development world is “Who would you be WITHOUT your fears?”
This question is great for people to create an understanding of what they really want, by imagining life without that fear, and to create a vision out of that imagination, but it doesn’t show us how to create that vision when the inevitable discomfort and fear shows up on that path.
So I invite you to ponder this question instead - “Who would you be WITH your fear”.
This question allows us to create a vision and take actions, regardless of the discomfort that the journey of that vision will inevitably take us on.
Upgrade Number Four:
“It’s time to change what you fear.”
Mostly the things that we fear aren’t moving us forward, because they aren’t based around anything that will actually inspire us to have courage.
Facing our fears and taking action comes when we have a willingness stronger than the original fear we feel, for instance, most of us have a fear of losing our intimate Partners, when this gets particularly strong we experience insecurity, self-doubt and limiting thoughts about what our Partner really feels about us.
Now, imagine that when we felt those fears, instead of reacting negatively, possibly distancing ourselves from our Partner, we instead opened up even more into love because we began connecting with a different fear, an upgraded fear.
What if we began to fear something with much more consequence should we not take the actions that matter with our current fear that we feel, such as being scared that we are not being the best Partner we could possibly be... What if we feared looking back on our lives as an old man or woman and realising our cowardice behaviour ruined our relationship and if we were willing we could have experienced something amazing, but now it’s too late.
What if instead we feared not giving our Partner, the one we love the most the best experience of a loving relationship they could experience. What if we feared hurting that person we love the most with our own lack of courage to look those fears in the eye and give all the love we could possibly give, even in the face of self-doubt and insecurity.
Upgrade your fear to something that creates a willingness to do what matters the most and make decisions that serve you and the world around you in the most loving, empowered way possible.
About the Author:
My name is George Howard, my life’s mission is to be relentlessly ME, to BE alive and to liberate others wherever I go so they can do the same.
I believe wholeheartedly that the freedom to be ourselves is vital to living a fulfilled life, to be authentic, to be the real us, to not hide away, to be vulnerable and accept ourselves completely.
I work with the bravest, most caring and kind people around, I help them live more deeply into the adventurers of life that they truly are, I help them love more openly through their fears and doubts that sometimes block the potential of what they have to give, I help them BE more of who they really are, so they feel more alive, more fulfilled and experience more bliss.
My people struggle to feel fulfilled and satisfied because of their adventurous spirit, they feel courageous to an unbelievable extent and they wish they could use this courage to really live to their truest potential that they can feel within. They care so so much about others that it can hurt and frustrate them, sometimes closing them off from giving their truest gifts through avoidance of these feelings, they are the kindest people you could meet, they truly want the best for those around them and are willing to lead the way and inspire change.
Sometimes they feel like they could never be enough, that after all the actions they take, like loving their Partners, friends and family as much as they can, being kind and generous, spending time doing what they love and doing work that benefits the world they can’t help feeling a nag deep within that is restless to be more and to expand into the enormity of what they can feel themselves as.
The coaching and writing I create allows my inspiring clients and readers to come alive in their own lives.
Learn more about me here.